If only he knew
by KuT2PeRfEcTiOn
Summary: When something happens to Kagome to make her run away from Inuyasha, she begins to realise things. Short story, no chapters.


**Author: Uh, this is my first fan fiction EVER so I'm really sorry if it stinks. I think I'm an OK writer but I would really appreciate it if you would review it because I'm always open to suggestions. I'm kind of experimenting with my writing skills in this one which is why it isn't a series. I'm going to try a series later on. Please tell me what you think. This story is written from a first person point of view. Everything will be from Kagome's point of view.. thanks.**

Note: _ItalicsCharacter thinking

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**Story: **_Run. I have to run as fast as I can. I can't let him see me cry. I can't show him that he won._

"KAGOME! STOP!"

_Don't listen! Don't give in to his voice. Don't be blinded by his words. He doesn't care about you. He never did and he never will. Just keep running._

_I'm getting tired. Physically and mentally. I have to rest._

I slow down and then eventually stop. As hard as I try to listen, I don't hear the sound of Inuyasha following me.

_Good._

I notice that near to where I am standing is a small pond. I practically collapse from the overwhelming tiredness I feel. As I gaze into the pond, I see my reflection. The reflection looks so familiar but as I look at it closer and closer, I feel I do not know this face anymore.

_Wow. I look so different. I guess it's been a long time since I've had a good look at myself. _

The face I see looks stronger then the Kagome I once knew. The Kagome I knew was so carefree, so joyful, so...happy...

_Well a lot changes after a year of killing and chasing demons._

I wipe my tears away.

_My face doesn't look as vulnerable as it once had. Is that a good thing? I'm not sure...being in this era has taught me so much._

I listen hard again. Straining my ears, begging them to hear something...

_This is pointless. Why am I listening for him? I know he won't come. He would never come. Not after what I said to him..._

_-_Flashback-

"Why do you have to be such a bother Kagome?" Inuyasha yells.

"I was just asking how long we have to keep looking for Kikyo!" I yell back.

"We're going to look for her AS LONG AS I WANT!"

"WHY?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE HER DAMMIT!"

"...what?" I manage to stutter out.

"...You heard me."

"Well...well, what if she doesn't WANT you looking for her!" I yell as I regain control of myself.

"Why the hell wouldn't she want me looking for her! We were meant to be together!"

"NO YOU WEREN'T!"

"WHY THE FUCK NOT!"

"B...Because..."_Because you were meant to be with ME..._"BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! THAT'S WHY!"

"HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW?"

"FACE IT INUYASHA! SHE NEVER LOVED YOU AND SHE NEVER WILL! SHE'S A BITCH THAT HAS NO FEELINGS TOWARDS ANYONE AND WHO'S SOLE PURPOSE IS TO KILL YOU! SHE CAN'T LOVE YOU AND SHES A COLD HEARTED BITCH THAT DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!"

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT KIKYO THAT WAY! IF ANYONE'S A COLD HEARTED BITCH AROUND HERE, IT'S YOU!"

-End of Flashback-

_That's when I started running. I had to. If I let him see me cry then he might have felt sorry for me. He would have expressed fake feelings towards me. I couldn't bear that. I just wish...I just wish he loved me...even if only the tiniest bit...but...that could never happen. He could never love me._

_Why does it matter? Why do I care if he loves Kikyo? I shouldn't! _

_But...I do._

_Why?_

_Why do I care so much about him? Why can't I just accept the fact that he doesn't love me?_

_Because...I love him._

_I love him so much. I feel as if I were to die every time I see him and Kikyo together. I know he loves her. I know it. But is it wrong for me to wish that he didn't?_

I think back to the first day I saw him. The first time I ever met him. How was I supposed to know that I would fall so deeply in love with him that I would never be able to climb back out?

_If only I could have done something. Done something to prepare me for the pain I would feel. If only someone had told me that someday I would fall madly in love with a rude, obnoxious demon that had no feelings for me whatsoever. _

_Yeah right. If someone had told me that, I would have called 911 and insisted to have that person sent to a mental hospital at once._

_But this all feels so real to me. I could never imagine how life would have been without meeting Inuyasha. _

I know, deep inside that I am glad to have met him. I can't live without him. And I don't ever want to try. I don't care if he doesn't love me back.

_No, that's not true. I wish he would love me back. It's just...it doesn't hurt as much anymore, knowing that he doesn't love me. I just want to be with him. To be able to look back upon these days and laugh at how silly we acted. How immature we acted. _

_No, I don't think I could ever look back at this feeling and laugh. But it doesn't matter. I want to be with Inuyasha and show him I care about him. Show him that he isn't as alone as he thinks he is. I'll learn to live without his love. As long as I can keep him._

_What was that?_

I quickly turn around and stare at the bushes. I heard something. I know it.

_Oh no, what if it's a demon! I don't have my bow and arrows with me...oh god. Help._

I brace myself for the worst as I see the leaves rustling. Then... I'm surprised when Inuyasha steps out into the clearing.

"...Kagome..."

"Inuyasha!"

"Kagome, look. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I never meant to call you what I did. I was just...angry. Please, forgive me?"

_Wow, he sounds so sincere. Why is he acting like this? It doesn't matter..._

"Of course I forgive you. And I'm sorry for saying those harsh things about Kikyo."

"It's ok. Let's just forget about it and go back, ok?"

"Ok."

I smile at him and he weakly smiles back.

I follow him as me makes a path back to camp.

_If only you knew Inuyasha. I know you don't but please...I just want you to be happy. Please...never leave me._

**End of story

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**Author: So there it is. PLEASE REVIEW! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! THANKS A LOT! O and email me if you want!**


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